A combination of common situations

I have been back in L.A. for four whole days now. In that time I have settled into the new apartment, started school, and really rather enjoyed my time. It's sad and yet relieving to know that so many things have to die before a new life can be formed. It seems in so many ways, by moving out to the west coast, I was running away from a lot of things I did not understand. Not understanding by means of concentrating so singularly on one goal and task, I forgot to see the whole picture, to take care of certain aspects of my life that were falling apart, or soon to fall apart. 

When I visited Cedarville, Something shifted. All the things that had occurred since the November of 2006 had been given as new clarity to me. Somewhere between the death and resurrection of my heart is where I stood that evening as I sat by the lake, pondering why it is that I was in such a hurry to leave. In the proceeding days, the things I had seen and felt would come together, to put the past behind and see that the future is all I have to hold. It all played into how it is that I have no real complaints about living in Hollywood anymore. Well, that might be a little ambitious. I suppose it is more realistic to state that I am tired of complaining about this messed up place. It's simple really: I moved here, I live here, and soon enough I will leave, I might as well learn to enjoy it. 

The pace of the new quarter here at MI is much more intense than I anticipated. 2 days in and I wonder if I am falling behind. Good news though, there are two CMC alums now living in Hollywood. Marc is attending MI GIT, and Brandon, well, I dunno what exactly he's here for, but the more the merrier. I haven't met up with them yet, I should probably change that soon, seeing as we live in the same town, go to the same school and all. Once you get used to Hollywood, you realize that it isn't a very big town, that only a few thousand people actually live here and are actively out and about in the community. 

I've discovered I am getting good with relationship suicide. I can't be the one to call everyone just for a few minutes of time with their voice mail. It's incredibly true how that you cannot make anyone a priority that has no priority set aside for you. I've tried and tried with so many different people from all the different places I have been, and found the same thing time and time again. It use to really bother me, until I realized I have learned to do the same thing to people I know as well. I don't know where I am getting at with this, maybe I'm sorry? maybe I'm just getting revenge for feeling like I am only a victim. Nobody likes a man who only knows how to be victim. 

I am still without Internet at the apartment. If anyone knows any wireless cracking system for macbook that are compatible with Airport, please let me know, I am really tired of fruitlessly guessing at wireless passwords, and really bored at night when I am done practicing.