I should do this more often

I forget who it was, but someone I know recently said I should blog everyday, keep some more records of my time away from the east coast and those I once knew. Sadly, that time will keep going, never to return to its start. After a while, those "people I once knew" will always be just so, we were "once" at one time. In someways I hope not, but if I am to keep forward, it will be so. I am not resigned to living local for ever. It crashed a relationship, and drove me to both ends of the states. But I hope that I can, I do not know that I, we, are made to keep going through life drifting from one town to the next in search of hopes and dreams, without ever figuring out who I/we are, and what it is we are all after.

What I am trying to say in a round about way is that I want to settle down. I hope that this next year in Los Angeles is a time of happiness and relative emotional ease. School has been my only perk while living in downtown Hollywood, and seeing friends like Sara and Kelsey, and having roommates like johnny and peter. everything else has been one continuous trial, and I want some peace from it. I feel like I've been traumatized, almost scared into every trying to adapt to a new life again. But in a year I am going to have to move again.

Ohio would be my first option. Familiar is why. I know the roads, the weather, the people, the culture. It is, in a generic sense, home. My parents live south of Cleveland in a well to do town, my extended family is scattered all over the greater Columbus area. But I cannot stay there. I know how I will become bored, how that I will only aggravate the norms here, as I cannot stand to accept the acceptable.

At this point, the Nashville area has become my desire. I've been down there twice, and both times have thoroughly enjoyed the town, the atmosphere, the view, even the bloody hot weather.
I am planning to attend MTSU, and finish a four year degree in something relating to philosophy and English. Music and art are an undying appreciation, and given a chance to further explore them and make monetary gain, I will not hesitate to jump on, but I do not strive to be a starving artist. I want to settle in somewhere, maybe not permanently, that's acceptable, I've never lived anywhere for more than 6 years, but somewhere semi permanent. I am tired of living somewhere just long enough to tolerate it, and then leave. I want to give my children a chance to have stability, to enjoy for awhile long binds of friendships and family, and when they're ready, to go out into the world as I have done, and find out who they are without their peers, without any guide but their conscience. Whether they come back is their decision and their good right, as has been mine.


"Meet me in Tennessee."