Hallucinating Today

I should be practicing, or eating or just about anything else right now. Some days I wonder if I am only merely hallucinating this act of living out my life: feeling at times like I'm awake in some dream land. Because everything seems normal, yet hazy; but nothing is perceived as good or bad. As swirl down the streets and through rooms and doors of some quasi surreal state of mind.
not even 4 cups of coffee could jar this feeling today, and as the afternoon wears on, I feel as though I am only slowly wearing the dream off.

The other morning I dreamed I held close, someone I care for deeply. It was the early hour, the one where gray is the color of all things. Rested against me, slumbering in peace, we were content. But It was the same moment I realized I was coming to consciousness, that my happiest state was only passing, and in a few seconds it would be gone. I cried out for the day not to take my dream. Terrible and crushing was the punishment I took for believing for that for that moment my dream was a reality. Breathless and angry and still partly asleep, I cursed the dawn for taking my phantom. Whispered shouts of hatred for nothing that is mine. "We live as we dream, alone. "