6:30 am comes too soon

Monday, I woke up at 7:15. On Tuesday, 7:00. This morning...6:30. Not just slowly waking up, I mean, my eyes fling wide open, as if to greet a sunrise on my ceiling. At 8 am on Hollywood BLVD, the world is still asleep. I like the desolation a little bit, a nice reprieve from the hustle to take over in about 3 hours. On my way to Starbucks, I met a woman who works in the payroll department at school. She almost got hit in the crosswalk by a speeding SUV, probably late for work. I'm glad she did not get hit, as she was the first person on the street to say good morning to me since I've been out here. It's easy to forget the simple pleasures of common courtesy when your trying to block out the chaos to and from school. 

  I have one more class to go, and have already been playing for 2 hours today on top of the 3 hours of classes this morning/afternoon. I was going to see about joining a band here in LA, but with the intensity that this quarter has shown in the first 3 days, I believe I will have to forgo the opportunity and concentrate my time and efforts to my school work. I do find it encouraging in my day to day to remember, that while most people are studying gen eds, and degree courses that have no implications to daily life, I sit in my classes with an instrument and play rock n roll all day long. That everything I learn has an effect toward a career, and every hour of practice could mean the ultimate gig or ultimate mediocrity, striving toward the first. 

Singleness haunts me, as constant as the ringing in my ears. In a school filled with mostly guys, the few women you do pass daily are a torture. Beautiful, young, artistic, making it impossible to concentrate in some classes or walk a straight line in the hallways. Relationships might be a bad thing at this point, but I don't care anymore. Two years is too long, and my age is beginning to dictate whether I'm in the kiddie pool or in the deep end and drowning....